Well, I promised to blog a few things yesterday and then.. you never saw me. I am here to tell you that my 72 hours of insomnia, first turned me into a blubbering fool. I was talking gibberish, out loud no less and I could hear myself speaking this strange gibberish language and yet, I couldn’t stop, interspersed with the gibberish were tears, raw, hard tears, I was crying frofusely and talking gibberish. I do not know what language I was speaking, (most likely nonsense!
I can tell you that whatever language real or fake I was speaking and all the tears, I was simply stating that I wanted to sleep, I was almost hallucinating. I tried to walk to the bathroom and walked into another room, running into things, stubbing my toes, scraping my knees…. WHat was going on with me?
Finally, I came back to my bed, so disgusted with myself and my insomnia, I took three pills, a muscle relaxer (trying to stop my legs from moving) a anti-anxiety and a pill for lowering blood pressure that has also been used for anxiety. I took one of each, I wrote a note saying I took one of each (just in case) and I laid down to sleep, it was approx 0600 on the third day of no sleep, I knew my kids were getting ready to get up for school, but I did not want them to see me like this, I was not even sure they would understand anything coming out of my mouth, I certainly did not!
I layed the note on the bed next to my pillow and I put my head down, praying I would finally get some sleep….
I woke up when the kids got home from school. I finally after almost 80 hours, fell asleep and I fell asleep hard, I dont remember anything! Not only did I sleep hard and well, but I slept last night too, the entire night. The problem is that I woke up and I am tired, but I am trying to stay awake today, in order to get on a regular schedule tonight. My BF is picking up some of my restless leg pills for me! Thank God I got some sleep!!! I did wake up with a cold, so obviously the sleep deprivation is having an impact on my immune system!
Over the past few nights with no sleep, I tried melatonin, benadryl, warm milk, hot compresses, exercising, hot baths, warm chamomile tea and so much more.
What on earth is wrong with me!!
So, I wanted to tell you all where I have been, I owe you some recipes and such…. but if my blog readers are all readers with depression, hopefully you will understand how much was out of my control yesterday, thanks for sticking with me!