Like I started to say in my last post, one of the biggest symptoms of this out of control life, is my messy house! My room is cluttered and my kids would live in rats nests if I didn’t occassionally get off the arse to make them clean. For the most part, my depression has made me SUPER lazy and my kids have learned from my example. So, here I am… trying to get control of this Shit hole (Sorry, but there really is no other word to describe it). One of the things I have done in the past (when I was a happy, skinny, non-depressed wife without any children) is clean up a different room each day… I had a little board and I would dust and vacuum the appropriate room on the appropriate day…. I did white on one day, colors on another, sheets and towels had their own day as well. It was really simple, one load of laundry each day and an easy way to keep the chaos at bay without feeling like all I did was clean all the time. (By the way, I could do that now… clean all the time, it could be my profession and I Swear, the mess would still never get under control!) I have unpacked boxes in my garage (We have lived here almost 18 months now). I even have a pile of boxes, filled with brand new clothes that I didnt like or didnt fit. (you see, part of my depression includes an insatiable appetite for shopping and it is easier to be depressed and shop, when you can do it from the convenience of your bed and order online!) Anyway, these boxes have been sitting in my garage for about a year now, just waiting for me to return them… (Can you say Goodwill?)
But, I digress, are you getting the idea? My house is a shit hole and I need to get it under control! It is hard to say if the depression causes such apathy that I let my house become a candidate for the messiest house in the country or… does the messiness contribute to the depression. In all honestly, I think it is a viscous cycle of depression… you have depression and you get lazy, you stop cleaning… the mess and the chaos surrounding you gets out of control and it makes the depression even worse! See how easily this becomes an ugly cycle!
Right now, thankfully, the kitchen is probably the cleanest room in the house. No, its not because I am a great cook and I am always in the kitchen cooking for my children and cleaning up after us…. quite the contrary… as Ive already told you, my bedroom is the familial hub in this dump! For the past few months, we have been ordering out pretty much every night! As a matter of fact, my eldest son who is quite the smart ass most of the time (honestly, where does he get that from!?) mentioned that I only cook when my on again, off again boyfriend comes around and recently, when my father came into town.. (By the way, in case you are wondering, we did a marathon cleaning session right before dear old daddy arrived AND we stuffed a lot of shit in the closets, drawers, sheds, etc! Oh, and even though the house looked somewhat presentable when daddy dearest arrived, it was back to chaos within five minutes of his departure!!! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?) Anyway, my dearest son told me that I never cook. Mind you , this conversation was during a marathon cleaning session when I got inspired by some pinterest organizational ideas and I spent a fortune on supplies to clean and organize my kitchen. (Oh yeah, did I mention that my finances are a train wreck!! I make decent money, I do, but HOLY SHIT, I spend too much and live pay check to paycheck, which I should NOT Be doing with the amount of money I make, but… that is story for another post!.) I digressed again… (Hmm I wonder if I should get checked for adult ADHD, Maybe my son gets it from me……. wait, Squirrel!) So, we are organizing the cabinets in the kitchen because my oldest son (who does the dishes) has started putting pots where the glasses go, measuring cups where the spoons go…. you get the idea, he puts shit in which ever cabinet looks the most empty at the time. So, we are organizing cabinets and he is whining.. ( you know, standard, “Oh my God, we are doing the whole entire kitchen today!?) and I am trying to keep my cool, trying really hard! (and with my depression, keeping my temper in check can sometimes be a major ordeal, I didnt realize this before taking anti-depressants, I thought yelling and screaming and flipping out was just me (wow, I am thinking that sounds like my middle son….) then with some medication adjustments, I realized it is not me and I actually dont like to yell all the time!) OK OK where was I? Oh yeah, so we are cleaning the messy kitchen up and I am yelling about the cabinets being in such a disarray, I said, I cant find anything in this damn kitchen! You shove things wherever they fit and I can never find anything!!!” He replies, “Its not like you need to look for things very often.” I think at this point my face contorted into some odd shape and foam may have started coming from my mouth when I said, “what?” He kindly responds, “you only cook when you are trying to impress someone, like John (My on again, off again significant other) or Pop Pop.” I really wanted to mad. Actually, I was seething! No because my smart ass son spoke such an unjust, unkind comment, but, because it was true… I really dont cook much. I come home from work (when I am working, but again, that is for another post on another day) I strip out of my work clothes and into my pjs, I pick up a magazine or book, grab the TV remote and laptop and there I sit for the rest of the night. The kids come and go from my room, sometimes they all climb into the bed with me, sometimes even our 4 pets join us. Then, we decide what fast food we are hungry for (I did mention that I am about 50 pound over weight) and now that I have a teenage driver, it just makes it that much easier to be lazy and gain weight. We give our orders to him and he goes for a little spin in moms car and we eat dinner. Usually, we eat on our own, in different rooms, while each of us dives into the tech device of choice. Sometimes, we all eat in my bed. Occasionally, something will entice me to the little round table in the living room, and we all eat there. I haven’t seen it lately, but I think our kitchen table probably has about an inch of dust on it….
Ok, so this blog is about getting this shit together… This is not something that is going to happen on its own or very quickly… I have wanted to hire a cleaning lady for some time now, but quite honestly, the house is too messy to even let a cleaning lady in the door! I would be embarrased! We dont let anyone in our house, ever!
So, I have gone through this dilema a few times in my life and I have come across some great site to help me get started. It wont come easy! It will be a lot of work, but, like that skinny, in control, non depressed wife I used to know… It can be done one day at a time, in little baby steps.
With all that said… I introduce you to The Fly Lady… She has broken down household cleaning to a science. There are some daily tasks, that get done each and every day.. like cleaning your bathroom quickly with a method she calls the swish and swipe (It really is kind of genious) and after you do a little daily checklist, like spending 15 minutes decluttering the “Hot spot,” you then break your home into zones. Each day, you get a task for the current zone, that you add to your routine and after some time, your habits start to form and you slowly get control of the chaos. There are plenty of testimonials on the site, how people have gained control of their lives by following the Fly Lady system and “learning to fly.”
There are plenty of tips for cleaning and getting control of all the clutter. There are tips to get your man to help and your kids even get their very own tasks. All in all, it has worked for so many, it cant hurt to try it right? I mean this mess is out of control and its not going to get clean itself, so maybe I will give this a whirl and see how it works out for me..
Care to join me, flying? Leave a comment and tell me about your messy house (It will make me feel better!) and tell be sure to come back and let me know if the system is working for you….